Goodbye to the girl I was 12 months ago


365 days ago I was a different person. I was on the cusp of big change and feeling pretty damn rattled by a horrific 12 months. It’s crazy to think about how much things have changed in one year and what’s gone down, but most of all – how excited I am for 2017.

This morning I sat down and re-read the post I wrote this time last year (aptly titled Sayofuckingnara 2015) and I’m feeling pretty good, actually. For the first time in recorded history I did exactly what I said I was going to do this year…

“Saying ta ta to 2015 is a relief but it isn’t a ‘fresh start’, with mum in Chemo and our house-saga unresolved it’ll be another year of challenge but I’m looking at things with fresh eyes” … “Rather than setting myself a whole list of goals and expectations with the premise that when I achieve them (and only then) I will be ‘happy’, I decided that instead I will do one thing this year; live.”

The first half of the year was a flow on from 2015 but we took it in our stride and with the “house-saga” still unresolved and our travel plans up in the air we threw out a resounding “f*ck it”, and did what we had to do to book flights. I’m talking credit cards (plural) MAXED at this point. But we did it, booked tickets and got on a plane to Norway for our friends wedding. It’s funny, when things are tough people like to throw out pearlers like “don’t worry, it’ll get better”, and “before you know it, it’ll all be behind you”. *Insert sarcastic “Brilliant! thanks for that”. But, they were right and honestly the moment we got on the plane & let go of trying to control that situation… the pieces of the puzzle just started falling into place. Within a few short weeks, life changed.

We arrived home to good paperwork… we finally had an occupation certificate after 18 months of hell (I may elaborate on this at some point but basically imagine your brand new house having to be gutted and started again because of a builders f-up), and the sale of our old house had settled. Ahh, THE RELIEF.

This changed everything.

In a nutshell, in the last 6 months of this year we traveled to Norway, the Greek Islands, Croatia, moved into our new house, then jetted to NZ, and then India. Such a whirlwind, and so many incredible experiences.

At this point I’d like to add that there’s been a lot of shit this year too. a lot. I returned home from Europe to news that my pop had passed away. I only missed him by a day. My Aunt was diagnosed with cancer. And I’ve stood by friends’ in grief of their own.

Life is not easy – yet another pearler I’ve learned to be true – but through the difficulty and as the year comes to an end, I am grateful. Grateful more than ever; of life, health, family, friendship, and opportunity. I’m so proud, and so grateful that my mum made it through chemo, like a total rockstar. I’m so proud, and so grateful that my Aunt made it through chemo, like a total rockstar. I’m proud of Mitch and I, for making a positive change in our life and grateful for what that has done for our health & wellbeing. And, I am grateful for all the opportunity that a new year brings with it. 2017 will be what we make it (and while this might sound like a cliched sentiment, it’s actually a phrase that’s never been more true to me). And so, for the new year my ‘resolution’ is simply to stay the course. After all, one foot in front of the other can get you to the top of Everest, right? and I already made it to the foothills of the Himalayas this year soooo… proof is in the pudding really lol.

CalmlyKaotic Santorini

2017 is going to bring ups and downs, no doubt, and we can never know what’s around the corner but I’m excited for new beginnings, refreshed direction, and more adventure. Starting with the US & Canada in less than a month (the countdown is on!).

Wishing everyone a safe & happy new years celebration, and a 2017 full of all of the good stuff!
Feel free to leave your thoughts & resolutions in the comments below, I’d love to hear about your hopes for 2017.

N x

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  • Reply
    December 31, 2016 at 3:08 PM

    Thank you for an honest, beautifully written reflective piece, Nic. Sending you happiness and health to you and those dear for 2017 and beyond. ❤️✨☀️??

    • Reply
      Nicky Lark
      December 31, 2016 at 3:53 PM

      Thanks Maree! Wishing you the same! Here’s to a wonderful night & a fantastic year ahead! xx

  • Reply
    December 31, 2016 at 6:02 PM

    Thanks that was good to read, and it made me cry. We really all are Total Rockstars! Putting one foot in front of the other and simply, gently moving forward. All the best to you for 2017 x

    • Reply
      Nicky Lark
      January 1, 2017 at 6:29 PM

      Eevi, what a beautiful comment. Thanks for reading, I’m so glad you enjoyed it… rockstars indeed! Wishing you a wonderful, positive 2017! xx

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